My life
by Tiarna
Summary: Naruto can't cope any more. Don't read if suicide upsets you.Now rewritten to make it better.
1. The end?

**My life**

**A/N I didn't like how this turned out so I rewrote it making it longer.**

"Ouch"

I exclaim as a rock hit me on the back of my head drawing blood.

"What ya do that for. That hurt!"

"Good. You monster we'd all be better off without you."

Another rock flew towards my face but I saw it coming and defended myself with my arm, deflecting it to the ground. Where it bounced along until it stopped at the feet of the angry mob.

"Monster!"

"Get out of our village!"

More rocks sped from the crowd, there were too many to avoid, I managed to dodge a few, but most of them hit me. Grazing my skin before landing in a semi-circle in front of me.

"Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?"

"You were born!"

"You need to die."

My blue eyes fill up with tears, but I will not let them fall. If I did they'd know they've won. More stones come my way, from many different angles and directions. They're jeering at me; their taunts surround me, penetrating me to my very core. I can't take it any more. I run as fast and as far as I can into the lush, green forest surrounding the village. The tree branches slap me, grabbing at me, pulling at my hair, my skin, my clothes; trying to catch me, but I'm too quick.

Eventually I collapse worn, and spent on the floor, lying amongst the fallen leaves. Here free of the hateful villagers jeering and hateful comments, the tears break free of the dam holding them back and begin to gush from my eyes in a flood down my face. I just sat there crying, the wind swirling the leaves around me, I was in a maelstrom of wind and leaves. I don't know how long I sat there crying my heart out. It's not like anyone will notice I'm not there anyway. Why do they hate me? What have I done to deserve this hate and torture from them? I'm just an eight year old boy who's completely alone and hated by everybody for no reason that I know of. Nobody loves me, everybody wants me dead; I'm an outcast. The pain is just too much it's killing me; I just want it to end.

I stood up to start the long trek back to my empty apartment, when out of my pocket fell a kunai knife. (In academy we'd been practising throwing them. I just kept it.) It was like someone was sending me a way to end my pain. I sat down with my back to a tree and picking up the implement of my salvation experimentally slashed at my arm. Strangely enough I felt nothing no pain, nothing, but looking at the thin red line on my tanned arm something snapped deep within me. I dug the knife as deep as I could into my wrist and pulled it down my arm, it hurt so much I felt dizzy, but then as the red fluid gushed down my arm the pain dulled. I then fell into a trance, I began madly digging the knife into my body, my body was on fire, but doing this to my body, mutilating myself like this somehow made me feel better. It stopped the pain inside me. I was covered in red the blood was flowing freely down my arms and pooling around me, I welcomed the darkness.

**A/N Thanks me reading, please review. I hope the changes I made make it better.**


	2. Why?

**My life**

I woke up. The stars were twinkling at me; it was like they were smiling just for me. I thought I must have died. I was lying in a pool of sticky crimson fluid, the rough bark of the tree behind me digging into my back. It hurt. What had happened? Where had all this blood come from? All at once in a flash of recollection, it all came back to me, what I'd done. How as the blood flowed out of me all the pain and hurt inside of me just flowed away.

I expected to feel tremendous pain, like someone had set me on fire. As all of the wounds I had inflicted on my body were huge great gashes. They shouldn't even have stopped bleeding. Yet all I felt was mild discomfort, and a dull ache in my head.

I stood up, there was a clatter. The kunai knife, the instrument that made my pain go way had fallen off my lap, where it had dropped when I had fallen unconscious, to the floor. Where it bounced along, before coming to rest at the base of a stone a few metres away. I half expected the blood to start flowing off me in rivers, but it didn't. It appeared that the blood had already dried; even through I had only inflicted the wounds a few hours ago.

Confused I thought I had better start the trek back to my lonely apartment. Just in case someone came to check on me. I laughed bitterly, yeah, like that would ever happen. By this time it was pitch black with just the light from the full moon casting an eerie glow over everything. The trees looked almost alive as if they were going to jump out and grab me. I walked slowly among them, dragging my feet following the path I had walked so many times before.

I reached the village in what felt like just a few minutes. Out of no where there appeared two figures in front of me. They were engrossed in each other; I thought it looked like they were trying to suck each others faces off. I stopped and stared, they were obveriously in love. I felt a sudden pain in my chest; it felt like someone's fist was inside of me squeezing my heart. A child had run out of the house behind them, they had turned around and hugged him, enclosing him in their loving arms. Noticing me they began to glare, their eyes burning into me. Before they could shout at me to get lost I ran away. Why can't I be loved? Why does everyone want me dead? What happened to my mum and dad? Surely I didn't just pop out of the earth. Did even they hate me?

Reaching my apartment I hurriedly opened the door and ran to my bathroom. Spinning both taps to make the water gush out. I felt dirty; I had to get this blood off me. I ripped my clothes off and eased my body into the nice, refreshing, warm water. Grabbing a sponge off the side, I began to gently clean the blood off what I expected to be open knife wounds. Soon the water had turned a horrible, dirty red. I let out a gasp. I was confused and shocked. Where there should be open, possibly bleeding wounds, there was nothing but smooth, unmarked skin. What the hell had happened? How did my wounds heal so quickly?

I quickly got out of the bath, dried myself and put my pyjamas on. I had to know what had happened and ….. If it would happen again. Rummaging through my soiled clothes I found the kunai knife that had started all this. I positioned it until it was hovering over my palm. With a deep breath I slashed down at my palm. There was a pool of crimson how forming in my palm. Again the pain in my palm made the pain inside of me decrease. I waited to see if the wound would heal. Within five minutes the pain had completely vanished. I stuck my hand under the flow of water from the tap. Bit by bit as my blood was washed away I saw that in a repeated performance of earlier it had healed without a mark.

What the hell am I? Is what the villagers say about me true? Does this make me a monster? I question myself, frantic for any kind of answer. But I find none, not one.

**A/N Thanks for reading please review.**


	3. Dream

**My life**

I go to bed, just to lie staring at the ceiling. Sleep won't come to me tonight. My mind tormented by questions that no matter how hard or how long I think I can't find any answers to. Eventually I fall into an exhausted sleep.

Even in my sleep I can't find any peace. My sleep is disturbed by flashing images. I don't know where I am, wherever I am screams reach my ears from somewhere below me. Looking down I see people fighting and being killed by something underneath me. I smell a coppery scent. I see a giant toad coming towards me. Looking closer I see a man riding on top of it something clutched in his arms.

A flash and suddenly I'm somewhere else. Warm. Warmth surrounds me; someone is holding me in their arms. Looking up I see blue eyes, cold anger burns in them as the man they belong to looks ahead surveying the damage being done. Screams, I hear more screams as people fall in the battle ahead.

"Lord Hokeage, sir. Now you're here, it'll be okay. You'll defeat the beast…You will won't you?" Fear clouded the young man's features as he spoke.

"Don't worry. I'll defeat him." The man holding me reassured flashing the young man a confident grin.

"The Hokeage is here! The Hokeage is here! We are saved." The young man ran off shouting.

The man holding me let out a deep sigh.

"Let's hope I don't let them all down, ey little one." The man softly says.

I'm moved gently to one side to rest against the man's hip as his hands move quickly. Suddenly we're going up heading towards the sky.

"Thank you, old friend. For everything you've done for me. You're help time after time."

"Arashi, this is it then…Our final battle together. You sure you wanna to this?" The thing beneath us spoke. It actually spoke.

"I have no choice this is the only way to save the village."

"But… **if** it works you'll die."

"I know. But… I am willing to give up my life to protect my comrades."

"Right then if you're certain. Let's do this."

"Thank you."

The ground beneath us began to charge at a creature in front of us .A sword appeared and began madly attacking the creature.

The man gently placed me on the ground. I didn't like this, it was cold the warmth had gone, I opened my mouth and began screaming, tears coming to my eyes to waterfall down my face.

The man winced at the sound. Kneeling next to me he ticked my belly. Making me gurgle and giggle.

"Ata, boy. That's the spirit. You be strong now. The village is counting on us to do this. When it's over you'll be a hero." Ruffling my hair, he confidently grinned at me, his entire face lighting up. His blue eyes changing from ice cold to holding so much warmth and love it was unbelievable.

He drew something on my belly. Before drawing some black things around us in a circle. I was surrounded by black things. He began chanting softly in a language I didn't understand. I didn't like this.

The next thing I knew the man was encased in a bright, blinding light. He gently slammed his hand onto the centre of my belly.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me." The man whispered. A single tear ran down his cheek, before falling off his jaw and onto the mark on my belly.

The next instant the light encasing him travelled down his arm, through his hand into me. It hurt. I let out a pained cry. Before being engulfed by darkness.

With a gasp I wake up. The sheets had twisted around my sleeping body. I knew I had a dream, it was important. There were answers to some of my questions in it. But I couldn't remember them. Dam! I slam my hand down on the table by my bed. Why can't I remember? I madly search my memory, trying to force myself to remember. All I can force my mind to drag up out of its murky depths is a face; A blonde haired, blue eyed man with a smile able to light up the darkest of times. Even this quickly fades away.

**A/N Sorry for the wait. I'm not sure where I'm going with this so suggestions welcome, I'd love to hear your views. Hope it wasn't to confusing and that you enjoyed it. Please review. I crave feedback so I can improve.**


	4. Friend?

**My life**

I get dressed, pulling on my orange clothes. Wearing orange they can't miss me, at least they're look at me. Why should I even bother going to that stupid place? I hate it even the children hate me; they won't even talk to me unless I force them to. I sigh, I have to go… If I don't I'll never become strong enough to become Hokeage… And if I don't do that I'll never be respected they'll always hate me.

Walking to academy I get shot by the usual glares from the villagers. Fix my usual fake grin on my face while I overhear their whispered comments, each one sending a knife into my heart.

Here I am outside the hellhole known as academy. Seeing a flash of pink hair, oh it's Sakura, I run over to talk to her… But I didn't notice her mother.

"What do **YOU** want?" Sakura's mother growled. She actually growled at me, an arm slipping round her daughter's shoulders. I don't believe it; she thinks I'll hurt Sakura. I'd never do something like that. Why do they always think I'll hurt them? What aren't they telling me?

"I just wanted to say hi to Sakura."

"And why would you do that?" The venom in her voice hurt me.

"Because we're in the same class…" I say scratching the back of my head.

"Well don't. LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE!" She yelled at me pulling her daughter away, Sakura had confused look in her eyes as if she didn't understand what her mother was doing.

As they walk away I scrub at my eyes removing any tears that were forming before they fall. With a sigh I run into the classroom fixing my big, goofy grin firmly in place.

"HI EVERYONE!" I yell my voice filled with enthusiasm I just don't feel. As usual no one cares that I'm there.

At my words they fall silent; their faces drop as their eyes turn towards me. I know those looks; they talk to me telling me of the contempt my classmates feel for me. Oh God it's him again. What's he doing here? Give up, go home, Naruto. Like I care what they think. I'll show them, when I'm Hokeage they'll have to respect me. With this thought I force myself to bounce into my seat in the class. After a few moment's the chatter starts up again.

Boring. Iruka sensei's classes are always so boring. I manage to daydream my way though another of his classes. It's not like I mean to…It just happens, one minute I'm there listening as intently as I can the next I'm in fantasy world, dreaming of being Hokeage. With a jolt I come too, someone had tapped me on the shoulder. Everyone was running out of class, funnily enough it was Shikamaru that had tapped me.

"Yo! Shikamaru."

"Time to wake up, Naruto. Class is over."

"Um… Thanks I got that."

"You're so troublesome…"

"Yeah… bye!" I shout running out of the class.

I go to the forest and get some taijutsu practice in, I beat the trees up. By the end of it my knuckles are bruised and grazed, my feet ache … but I'm getting better. Time to get some sleep. I run home as quickly as I can. Hopefully if I run no one will see me. For once my wish is granted, no abuse is hurled at me. With a sigh I enter my apartment. The window has been smashed again. Some idiot villager had lobbed a rock though the fragile glass. With a sigh I go fetch a dustpan and brush; my windows are broken on a regular basis, I'm past caring now. As I clean up the mess the villagers made of my house my hand brushes the rock, it's covered in something. Picking it up I discover it's wrapped in paper; a message … Written in red ink … Telling me how evil I am , how I deserve to be killed as slowly and painfully as possible. My eyes fill up with tears, fists clenching. My chest hurts, it burns.

IT'S NOT FAIR!

I HATE THEM.

I'M JUST A CHILD.  
THEY DESERVE TO DIE FOR PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS HELL!

I'm angry, so angry I tear the paper up into tiny, tiny pieces as small as I can. With as much force as I can summon I throw the paper and rock out of the window, not caring who or what they hit. The rock hit the rooftop opposite my apartment; the tiny bits of paper got caught by a gust of wind spinning them up into the air and out of my site. I wish I could fly after them and escape from this hell.

Escape… What I'd done to relieve my pain the night before shot into my mind. Why not? I was hurting so much inside; I had to do something before I burst. Finding the kunai knife I sat down on the floor, discarding my top. Taking a deep breath I slowly drag the knife down my arm, leaving a burning sensation as my spine starts to tingle. Looking at the red line oozing blood I fall into a trance. I speed up my pace madly slashing here, there anywhere I can reach. Covering myself in crimson ribbons that twist and turn wrapping all around my form. With a satisfied smile; exhausted I slump backwards, the kunai knife dropping from numb hands. I'm so tied; I can't even find the energy to move. My eyelids feel like they have weights attached. With a sigh I allow myself to drift into darkness.

Blinking as the sun attempted to blind me, I woke where I had fallen the night before. Stretching I winced expecting pain… Again! Again when I should be in agony I was pain free. Sighing I moved into the bathroom, proceeding to cleanse my body of the dried blood. By the time I'd finished the water was a horrible dirty red… I hate that colour. My skin was still flawless; no marks marred my flesh… Yet I knew… Knew I should be covered in wounds, bleeding or at least scabbed over cuts. But no, there was not a splash of crimson on my tanned body.

This is stupid! Someone has to know what's happening to me, but who? Anyway they all hate me; they think I'm a monster. If I tell them I'll just be proving them right. I can't let that happen. I sigh, at least no one will know I'm in so much pain that I have to cut myself, to hut myself to be able to cope. I wish with all my heart that there was someone, anyone, just one person who would be my friend. I've had enough, I'm sick of being all alone! I feel my eyes starting to fill up, before they can fall I distract myself by getting changed, brushing my teeth, washing my face, preparing my favourite food (Ramen!) for breakfast. I no longer wanted to cry.

Time to go back to hell and face the hatred. I started to fall into a routine. Everyday I would wash, eat, go to academy (hiding behind my grin), train, go home, cut myself (I hated doing it, but it was the only thing that would ease my pain), sleep; wake up, then the whole thing started again.

One day I was walking out of academy, Iruka-sensei had kept me behind in detention, I hadn't done anything major wrong just some small little prank, that made everyone laugh, they actually paid me attention which was worth the stupid detention anyway. Sitting on the swing just outside was a boy who looked just as lonely as I was. My heart reached out to him. As I got closer it looked like, his eyes red and puffy. He didn't look up as I approached, his unfocused eyes starring at the ground.

"What ya doing?" He jumped as I spoke.

"None of your business. Leave me alone." He obviously didn't want any company… but he looked so forlorn and lonely… I decided that he was lying, hiding behind a mask, I should know.

"Uzumaki Naruto" I held my hand out to him and flashed him the warmest smile I could muster.

He glared at my offered hand, my smile faltered. We stood there for a minute frozen. To my shock his glare wavered when I didn't turn away. Suddenly his hand was in mine as he stood up, smirking.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

**A/N Sorry for ****not updating sooner. Hoped you enjoyed it. Please review chibi eyes. I bothered to write and post it, you bothered to read it, please spare just a few minutes to review, even if it's just a few words. I would love to know what you think. PLEASE!**


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